Q: From what I understand, the idea of Zen meditation is that when we sit, we are kind of Buddha. So great. And if that’s the case, why would one take the vows if we’re already Buddha?
A: That is very close to the question that Dogen asked on his travels to China. Not quite. His question was - if we are already Buddha, why do we need to practice? This is related to your question. And the answer he came to is: because practice is an expression of one’s Buddhahood. Everyone is already Buddha. Everyone is always already Buddha. It’s that experience of being which is fundamental to our existence, and is shared with all beings. Dogen came to the conclusion that one practices to manifest this, to embody this, to make it concrete.
We can say something similar of the vows. Why does one take the Bodhisattva vows? I like to think of it almost like a marriage, in that you take the Bodhisattva vows to express something that is already a reality for you. This makes it public, expressed in the wider relative world. And just like marriages, one goes into it with the intention of being with it for the whole life, but it doesn’t always work out. Sometimes your commitment to a certain practice and tradition doesn’t work out for whatever reason, but nonetheless, you take that step with the intention that it’s something that’s going to be with you all your life.
Q: Sometimes I sit and I don’t feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I mean, almost all the time, 99% of the time. I’ve sat with other groups where there’s more of a process to the meditation, where you go through stages within a single meditation. But here, it is just sitting. Or is there something I’m missing?
A: One needs to make a subtle effort, but let go of that effort. Having said that, it’s not unusual to be distracted for much of the time. It is subtly creating an intention to be present. That intention will be lost, and then reconnected with, again and again. There is a sense of allowing the awareness to open.
Master Wanshi described it as the ‘vast luminous field of awareness’. We often close in on our thoughts. I certainly spent much of the sit today closing in on my thoughts. And that’s just how it is. You know, stuff was going on at work. My mind was just processing that stuff, maybe healthily, maybe unhealthily, I don’t know. That’s just how life is today. Some days it’s a cloudy sky, some days it’s a sunnier sky. We just accept that and have the intention to open.
Q: I definitely get that sense of just things dropping open. Is it helpful to actually go looking for that? Or is that too much of an aim?
A: Well, I think again, I’ll use the word intention. If one is desperately trying to make it happen then that’s not good. Too much striving; too much drive. Too much judgement if one ‘fails’. But whenever one notices that one’s trapped in thoughts, one notices and simply opens to the moment. Then just be with that. Then one will become trapped in thoughts again, and again one opens to the moment. It is a letting go. ‘Opening the hand of thought’.
It’s not about stopping thoughts or doing something else with the mind. The thoughts are there, and there’s more space. Because there’s more space, the thoughts only take a small amount of space rather than filling it. It’s to do with the attention. It’s not that the thoughts are bigger or smaller. Rather our attention isn’t restricted, tangled in the thoughts. If one is more open, those thoughts are still there, but there is this wider awareness, and the thoughts therefore have less power. They’re less dominating. They may stay, or they may pass.
How can you notice the Buddha Nature in yourself or in other beings? What sensations would you notice?
One doesn’t seek for it. Rather than noticing the Buddha nature within oneself, the Buddha Nature is expressed through oneself. So again, it’s about openness. The expression ‘Buddha Nature’ makes it seem something concrete . This is always a problem with using words to teach through the millenia. It sounds like there’s something concrete which you can ‘get’. In fact, Buddha Nature is open awareness; experience; being.
Awareness of Buddha Nature makes one aware of the fact that in some ways, our nature is a kind of flow. A flow of experience. And when we see this nature as flow, as opposed to something that’s rigidly defined, we can accept our failings and the failings of others. To ‘see’ Buddha nature is to see beyond our personalities. To see something deeper that we all share. We share this flow, this experience of Being-Time, to use an expression of Dogen,